As the phone rings – hastening to answer while crossing the room a stream of thoughts within my consciousness emerges: “which child? What crisis is happening now? Where and which wheel has fallen off their bus?” The person confirms it is I with whom she is conversing with. They name their self and proceed to provide the reason for the call. “………..was taken to the hospital by ambulance with a broken hip and they wanted me to know of the change in plans.”
“Oh dear, I am sorry to hear this!” is my first response. – Both for the patient as well as for myself. The patient is my massage therapist. In an attempt to deal with pain and suffering I had embarked on a plan for healing and avoiding pain in my body by following a planned treatment for massage, more exercises, and by altering ritual habits that I would proceed to well-being. The one suffering from the broken hip – would no longer at the present time be able to use their gifts and wisdom to lead me to an empowered future. Time for a plan B if transformation and hoped for wellness is to emerge shortly.
In another era of my journey, I was intrigued by a phrase; “it is easier to act out a new way of thinking than to think out a new way of acting!” More exercise, awareness of what and how much I am eating and drinking, and to enter into the accompanying pain and action of actually doing for myself, rather than expecting someone else to pleasure me into this new existence. Synchronicity or life as life often just wakes me up again. I will deal with it, to keep my health so I can care for the wounded healer, whom my trust and unrealistic expectations had burdened them with.
In my downsizing and decluttering – leafing through the detritus of 14 years in one house and an office cluttered more than my own mind by changing the environment around me I came across the writings of one of my fondest mentors. Deborah A Barrett article on Suffering and the Process of Transformation outlines how a “traumatic experience” may leave a person in the grip of “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder” or be a catalyst and source of a healing transformation to live more fully into life as it can be.
Will provide link tomorrow